


Calibornication

by polyfandrous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon, Crack, Gen, Musical, Parody, Red Hot Chili Peppers, at least it should be, kind of, ooc, pesterlogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyfandrous/pseuds/polyfandrous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of deviates from some canon pesterlogs between Andrew and Caliborn. Hussie pisses Caliborn off, and he voices his displeasure (and some other things) in a new style of "art."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calibornication

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rezi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezi/gifts), [mitspeiler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitspeiler/gifts), [Lordlyhour](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordlyhour/gifts).



Seriously though I can’t just give you the answers. It’s a game, you’re supposed to solve these puzzles on your own.  
BLACK TEXT IS ANNOYING  
ALL THOSE WORDS ARE REALLY BORING  
I JUST WANT THE ANSWERS  
DONT NEED YOUR FUCKING NAME EITHER  
IVE GOT A GUN SO GUESS WHAT  
ITS CALIBORNICATION  
Oh sweet Jegus you’ve got to be kidding me.  
ITS THE END OF THE WORLD  
AND ALL THE PARALLEL UNIVERSES  
I STARTED WITH MY SISTER  
I WONT SETTLE TILL IM DONE WITH EVERYTHING  
ITS UNDERSTOOD THAT THE LORD OF TIME  
BRINGS CALIBORNICATION  
You’re actually doing this? You’re breaking out into song?  
COME ON STUPID MINIONS LETS  
DO SOMETHING FUCKING USEFUL  
I DONT NEED YOU BUT SINCE YOURE HERE THEN  
DONT MAKE A SHIT MORON PILE  
Honestly you’re more dramatic than the Striders, and that is almost worthy of an entirely new type of drama!  
HUMANS HAND HOLDING  
HARD CORE SOFT PORN  
DREAM OF CALIBORNICATION  
DREAM OF CALIBORNICATION  
This is seriously the worst parody of Californication I’ve ever heard.  
THIS GAME IS FUCKING STUPID WHYS IT SO HARD  
WHEN I FIND THAT FUCKING DENIZEN  
IM GONNA TAKE HIS ABSOLUTE POWER  
GETTING JACKED UP FOR DESTRUCTION  
SO SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEW LORD ENGLISH  
ITS CALIBORNICATION  
The glorious members of Red Hot Chili Peppers must be turning in their graves.  
BUT FIRST WOULD YOU FUCKING TELL ME  
WHY MY GUIDES A SHITTY CLOWN WHO WONT DIE  
AND MY MINIONS LITTLE GREEN MEN  
I DONT CARE ABOUT THEIR DUMB ROMANCE  
THATS WORSE THAN MY SISTERS STORIES  
ITS CALIBORNICATION  
This is insane. You’re not even paying attention to me. Are you singing this, or are you just typing lyrics at me?  
GET AWAY YOU FUCKING CLOWN  
WHY WONT YOU FUCKING DIE YOURE FULL OF FUCKING BULLET HOLES  
THE LORD OF TIME DONT NEED FRIENDS  
Lay off Gamzee! He’s been trying to help you this entire time. You should really treat your followers better.  
HUMANS HAND HOLDING  
HARD CORE SOFT PORN  
DREAM OF CALIBORNICATION  
DREAM OF CALIBORNICATION  
No way. You’re actually repeating the chorus. You must actually be singing this. Someone help me...  
DESTRUCTION HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING  
ILL START WITH ANNOYING BLACK TEXT  
I TOLD YOU I DONT NEED YOUR FUCKING NAME  
IM GONNA FULL YOU FULL OF BULLETS  
THEN GO CLAIM MY ULTIMATE POWER  
ITS CALIBORNICATION  
Like seriously, this is so bad. You’re not even RHYMING. You don’t even have the same number of syllables, or even the same cadence, as the original song! Don’t you know how to parody properly?  
COME ON STUPID MINIONS LETS  
DO SOMETHING FUCKING USEFUL  
I DONT NEED YOU BUT SINCE YOURE HERE THEN  
DONT MAKE A SHIT MORON PILE  
THERE IS NO REST  
WHILE THERES UNIVERSES STILL  
You know what, you don’t even need to kill me. I’ll just kill myself. It’ll work equally well.  
HUMANS HAND HOLDING  
HARD CORE SOFT PORN  
DREAM OF CALIBORNICATION  
DREAM OF CALIBORNICATION

ARE YOU STILL THERE  
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO NEXT OR WHAT?  
YOU ARE SUCH A SHITTY CHEAT GUIDE  
AND YOU HAVE NO APPRECIATION. FOR REAL ART

**Author's Note:**

> So this entire thing started off from a comments thread that I will [link you to when I'm at home and not running a shitty computer](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/4663545). They're very out of character but it was the only way I could find to make this work. I just don't have the mad skillz.


End file.
